I give up just one day a month to help people who will benefit from it. And as a plasterer that's what I do. So I started off plastering a room for someone and now I have a whole team giving time and money. Other trades-guys like me help with electrical work, painting and decorating, plumbing and so on. Meanwhile I've found some really generous suppliers who freely give the supplies I need to complete the jobs. I hope you find my story inspiring (because I am inspired every time I see the face of some-one we've helped), and even feel you can support us. I find this just so rewarding.
My dream is to see an ETSETH Group in every city, town and village across the globe, but lets start here in Neath, South Wales and see what we have accomplished so far..
But to start at the beginning . . . . .
From toddler up to 8 years old was littered with the "same olds" the "same olds" as everyone else really. All the usual mooching around with mates, climbing trees, riding our BMXs, skateboards and scooters and the like. One thing that I really remember vividly about this time was how accident prone I was. If there was a trophy given out for bruises, scratches and cuts then I'd be lying under an mountain of them. I could have sold them to China and made a fortune!
I was 9 years old when my Dad left home and when I look back I can't remember any clear-cut signs that would indicate him swerving off. Since then I've been told and remembered stuff that would answer a few questions - but that's another story. But swerve off he did and of course I was upset. In some ways I blamed myself: I thought I had been too naughty, that I'd not shown my Dad enough love and that I was a bad lad. All the usual stuff that would go through a kid's mind!
All that aside now, looking back now, I never missed out on anything by not having him around - not a damned thing. You see I had some of the most positively influential people around me. Firstly my Mum who was both a mum and dad to me. Mainly because she grew up with 3 brothers. She used to fight their battles for them. . . I mean literally fight their battles. She taught me all the usual life-skills that all of us need, should have, and should practice every day. Things like morals, manners and respect to name but a few. . . . . but one of the most important skills she taught me were the Jab, Cross,Hook and the Upper Cut Combo. And trust me they got me out of many, many a high spot . . . thanks Mum.
Besides my Mum I had a support system either side of me in the shape of my sisters, who I don't think will ever know what they have done for me and continue to do. They'll never know how they helped me through life. They have my undying and unconditional love forever. Watch out for the next installment.
The need for positive male influences in my life came firstly in the form of my grandad, Grampie as he is known to me – who arranged other things taught me to swim in the Brighton sea, play cards, appreciate a good stroll and what a good whiskey tastes like (not when was nine though . . . I was nine and a half!). When I was little I used to think he was a giant and now at 92 years he remains that to me in every sense of the word.
Then there was my brother-in-law, my oldest sister’s husband, Shaun . . . I learned my trade from this man that has held me in stead all my life. This is the man I have explored the inside of pubs with, started off chants at football with, had some classic heart-to-hearts with and finished off some pukka curries late on a Friday night with. Above all Shaun was one of my best mates and will always remain so.
In a nutshell, from all of them, my mum, nan, grampie, sisters and brother-in-law I have had the most amazing amount of love. Thank you!!
I suppose everything started getting interesting when I was about 13 and girls were on the scene. It was about this time that Vanilla Ice brought out his massive hit “Ice! Ice! Baby”. I’d always been into hip-hop and rap music. I mean, when I was 10, the first concert my sister took me to was a triple at the Brighton Centre of The Beastie Boys, LL Cool J and Public Enemy. But I went mental for that Vanilla Ice tune, so much so that I had all the zigzag lines cut in my hair and had black/blonde streaks at the front: I mean, I really went to town. And it was this time that had a massive input and impact on my life. It was 1990 that the song came out and that year my sister and brother-in-law took my niece and me away to the Isle of Wight where we stayed in a holiday camp. And as at all holidays camps they had dance competitions, games and, before X-Factor or BGT was a twinkle in Simon’s eye, they has singing/talent competitions. .
And that was where Vanilla Ice comes in.
During the auditions I started chatting to a younger black boy called Nyrone and it became very clear, very quickly that both of us loved the same music. And it was then that the idea hit me . . . so from going from not knowing what to do to knowing exactly what to do.
Like I said it was at this time that I became really into girls. And looking into that crowd it was polluted with crumpet. They were all looking up at the next wannabe boy band or solo artiste and it was then that I thought we’ve got a chance here!” After 4 boys who were more like Dogslife than Westlife had finished it was our turn. All the others had their backing tracks to sing to and as Nyrone and me took to the stage they asked for our tape (tape? Get with it grandad!) to which I replied “We only need 2 mics” and were met with a very puzzled look from the compere.
After 10 seconds silence I shouted the immortal words “Yo, v.i.p. lets kick it” and that’s the moment Nyrene started his beat boding (making the beats with his mouth) and I rapped the whole sound over it. The girls – and the whole crowd - had never seen anything like it before, and they properly loved it. For the rest of the week we were like superstars. Safe to say we won the competition and went on to the National Finals in Scarborough (very Vagas) and came second to a Rick Astley tribute with a waistcoat and frilly shirt!!! But we had a whale of a time and a little taster of what a certain Mr Cardle is feeling right now.
Oh! before I forget, Nyrone’s surname is Nosworthy, he’s now playing right back in the Premiership for Sunderland. Well done. I’m proud of you mate . . . I wonder if he ever regrets the split of the duo. Playing football, the money, the girls, the fame! NOT A CHANCE!
At 16 I went into plastering full-time with Shaun, my brother-in-law. But I started working when I was thirteen and a half. I worked through my school holidays and so from that early age I hardly had a summer break, only when I went abroad.
The next couple of years consisting of working all the time, girlfriends (again) break-ups, getting back together and breaking up again, pubs and clubs as life plodded along.
Nothing much to report really apart from a year of chronic illness. . . .
. . . . And the illness came to an end in a very strange way. In a nutshell all the ligaments and cartilages in my feet wore away, which left my feet in very, very strange shapes due to swelling. I was also in an aweful lot of pain. The thought of chopping them off crossed my mind once or twice, let me tell you. And after getting lots of treatments which included anti-inflammatory, t strength pain killers and a few cortisone injections straight into my feet. Still no change. I was desperate but my cure came in the form of a guy called Ray Brown.
Ray Brown was a former Irish bricklayer but no longer. Now he has a 2000 year old spirit called Paul who was a friend of Jesus Christ, working through him. Paul cures and heals people. And crazy as it sounds Paul healed me. He gave me back my life and I’ll be forever grateful for that.
Don’t be afraid of the unknown because you’ll never know how it can help you, or indeed when you’ll need it.
Fast forward to the ripe old age of 25 and that’s when I met a girl from Essex who I later married. That relationship ended and it was a bitter blow. Anyone who has been told those words “It’s over” will understand. You invest so much time, so much energy, so much heart and soul into it, that when it’s taken away it really knocks you down. To me it was a right old sucker punch, took the wind right out of my sails, if I’m honest. My faith in a lot of things had been taken away. And what happened was a time of emotional distress.
Sudden change and due to the fact I had paid out a lot in equity to my ex because I stayed in the house. Then, very soon afterwards, the credit crunch happened. So add together falling property prices, less work around, a single income, higher mortgage, personal loans, credit cards, and two young plasterers I kept in work equalled financial hardship. Here’s no shame in getting knocked down. We all get knocked down. It’s how we get back up that matters.
Like I said my faith in a lot of things had been taken away and I may have been on a bit of a downward spiral. . . . that was until I met my destiny.
My destiny, my saviour, if you will, and my little ray of sunshine. In a nutshell the person I was put on this earth for: which turned out to be a little lump of loveliness from Wales. Classic!! So realising soon after meeting her that I had to be with this girl, I put my house on the market and waited, and waited and waited. As many of you will know, things weren’t just moving at that particular time. But after 8 months of hasstle and aggro, shed-loads of miles due to the Essex and Swansea commute, the joyous day came, the day I could leave the Essex trap. Yes!!
So after paying the solicitors and estate agents along with some smaller loans I’d taken out, I walked away with just £1500 in my pocket from the sale of that house. But my mindset was that I was grateful that had any money at all: there were so many people in negative equity and were really struggling. Those people didn’t have the luxury of a clean slate and a fresh start as I had – so I was blessed.
It will awaken something in you that you never knew you had. All of a sudden you are living life instead of merely existing.Most of all you are making a difference and that one thing can be a drop in the ocean that creates a ripple that turns into a tidal wave. Just imagine if everyone did that, it would be a tsunami of beauty. That's a truly phenomenal prospect. Think about it!!!
Here I am in God's Country and ready to take on the world. Fresh air, beautiful scenery and some of the best people you will ever, ever meet. If I'd know Wales was this good I'd have come sooner! It's so good you have to pay to get in. Money well spent in my book.
Soon after my arrival in Wales, in September 2008, with everything I'd gone through, coupled with the fact that no matter where you looked, TV, radio and newspapers, it was complete and utter doom and gloom. And I thought to myself "Enough is enough" and what could I do to spread a bit of positivity?
And so ETSETH was born! What is ETSETH? You'll have to wait a little while so just be patient.
The experiences I've had through ETSETH . . . .
. . . . the people I have met who are inspirational, what I learned and taken from each project, the Swansea Pride Awards (which was one of the best nights in my life!), Articles in the Evening Post, Wales on Sunday, Manchester's Weekly News, Swansea Life Magazine, interviews on the internet radio show In Town Today, and the Jamie & Louise Show on BBC Radio Wales.
The greatest day of my life was 4th June 2010, the day I married my littler lump of Welsh loveliness at Craig-y-nos castle. The sun was shining, all my family were there and I had the most beautiful bride in the world. What more could I ask for. I was one happy camper and all the time it just gets better. I'm strapping myself in and enjoying this fantastic ride. I do not want to get off!!
I've realised as I've gone along that life's path is strewn with hurdles, potholes and land-mines that we have to negotiate. We will trip, stumble and fall, of that there is no doubt. But we have to get up, dust ourselves down and go on again. Learn from each experience and use it in a positive way :for out of our darkest days come our greatest triumphs" and for whatever we go through it's no reason not to be a better person and help others, along with helping ourselves.
It will awaken something in you that you never knew you had. All of a sudden you are living life instead of merely existing.Most of all you are making a difference and that one thing can be a drop in the ocean that creates a ripple that turns into a tidal wave. Just imagine if everyone did that, it would be a tsunami of beauty. That's a truly phenomenal prospect. Think about it!!!
I think we are in a mindset of "no-one helps me or has done anything for me, so why should I do anything for anyone else". That way of thinking has to go. Be a shepherd that leads, not a sheep who follows.
When we give to others, and it can be anything – our skills, our profession, money, love and just simply giving your time – can be priceless. And if you give any of these with the best intentions and will then you'll get so much more back. I'm talking about the sense of good and well-being, and this is a feeling that cannot be described.
We don't realise what power we hold in our hands. We all have talent and we all have skills that we can use in a most positive and productive way to help others. "Blessed is he that serves others, for it's in giving that we receive" and it's true, trust me. I've had feelings I've never felt before. I've learnt things I never thought I would, and I've met some of the most wonderful, humble, inspirational and phenomenal people. And for that I'm grateful.
We learn daily as we go along. My lessons continue. We make a living and that's what we get, but we make a life out of what we give.
So what is ETSETH? And why is it so empowering to those people who have helped me and those whom we have helped?
See you soon
Jamie
